is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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