Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
