it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
