if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The beer is more important than you right now.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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