I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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