Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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