Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
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