I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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