Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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