Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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