Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
