If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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