I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think i got beer on your cat.
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