he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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