I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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