id be glad to
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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