The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
