I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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