I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize