I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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