D3 body, D1 cock
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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