i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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