What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
