I seem to have left my pride at pride
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
