Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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