My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
