I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
