I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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