don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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