soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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