Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize