I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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