her vagine was all disorganized.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
