Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
