i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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