so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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