they need to just BURY HIM!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
