Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
