I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
All the doctor said was why
Success! We fucked roommates!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
