We're like a lot better than the average bears
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
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