So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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