last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
