Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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