I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize