yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Did we literally take a cab across the street
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
