Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
