just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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