have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
