a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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