I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
