in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
