turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
