had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
