did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
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Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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