You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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