just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize