I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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