She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
