okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize