i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
