Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
