i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize