Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
pray to the hookup gods
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
